::Listening to- JayZ::
Well lets see I work at 3-7.. and annie I can't find your number if my life depended on it, can you call my cell?? Tonight I think I'm going downtown, screw the parties, and the clubs I only want to freeze my ass off outside and take crazy pix of drunk people! Last night I went out to walk triton around say 12:30-1 in the morning, and was it cold! I had my huge eskimo hat on, and two pairs of socks.. you can say my head and feet were the only thing not dumb on me.

I'm supposed to call Kristen back today for the passes I went and got for the team.. but I had a long hard realization last night over it all. And you know, maybe things went to fast and I never saw it as it was. She really doesn't care about me, well maybe some, but not much. I'm not important in her life, so why should I do her favor after favor? I totally care about her, but last time this happened it all blew up in my face and I'm not dealing with tragedy recoverery. So that's my thought on it right now, I really don't have time for friends, nor do I want to make time for them so that's that.

So what did I learn in the past year? Some crap in school that I'll never remember 3 years from now, people don't always act like they should, when you are 17 you really don't need a "bestbud" friends to chill with are enough to handle, I learned minidisc are gods gift to those who love alot of music, take tons and tons of pictures and any major event of your life, it's well worth it. Keep a journal, funny how you seem to change daily when you reread entries. Cars are very useful, to get away, to spend your money on, and to spend hours and hours cleaning and loving it. I guess I learned alot more then that, but it's 10:44 in the am and I have alot to do.

So future plans for this coming year... get the storm, keep honor roll, sleep alot, work alot and leave for Savannah. Good plans huh?
Finally thank you to everyone/everything that I encountered this year, my folks and fam, varsity softball team last season, class of 01, Mariel, Trisha and co from MICA, class of 02! etc etc. Thanks everyone.
Posted by: Arleigh at 10:48 AM

worked, sold tix and worked. Pretty good day I would say- now off to cleaning
Posted by: Arleigh at 9:56 PM

i went to church this morning then to best buys and then skating... my day just flew away like whoa
Posted by: Annie at 4:11 PM

:Listening to- TAKE A WILD GUESS!::

Work was uhh fun. Not really, I finally got the whole setup for my camera in working order, so that's what I'll be doing tonight, playing with the camera :o) I should of bought more film.. but hey it's all good right.
I still haven't decided on new years eve plans, I guess it depends on if I have the car or not. LONG STORY! I'm still thinking of just walking around downtown taking pix of half drunk people. I think it will be quite entertaining... You know I can't wait till I can talk about anythign I really want on here, and my mom can't say really anythign. Until I move out I guess I really can't do that one huh?

Ohwell going to find somethign to do.


Posted by: Arleigh at 9:00 PM

i broke my board yesterday so whenever i feel like getting up today thats what i am doing...finding a ride and getting a new deck
wanna hear something pretty sucky...my dumbass brother failed out of college... so now he has no job no school and no way to pay for the house he is living in... whatever so when he is like 30 and has a sucky job and is still paying for the college he never got.....yea
Posted by: Annie at 2:01 PM

::Listening to- Standing Still by Jewel::

I never said you were boring, I said you didn't talk about anything worth commenting on. Totally different thing kid :o) ANYWAYS, I worked today from 3-11:30, well not exactly 11:30 we got to leave early! Tomorrow I work at 10, hopefully I can get up that early. LoL sorry, I don't do well with early morning happenings on the weekends. Sunday I work, monday i work, then tues- thurs I'm off. I think I might go to Kristens game that tuesday.. but who knwos depends on my mood I guess.
I still haven't figured out what I want to do for new years, I was thinking about that party in Brandywine, but I wanna go take sweet pix, and I'm not taking my camera that I've waited for forever to that place. I'm thinking of doing the boring First Night thing, atleast I will get some nice shots out of it..Who knows, I might do the whole "me" thing and go down to the water with Triton and play with my camera, there's this shot at my "spot" that I've been waiting to take forever.
I've bee nthinking of applying to SCAD for fall 2002 instead of 03, I just want out of this place and with out the worries of it all. Ya know?


Posted by: Arleigh at 11:57 PM

ok tell me honestly... am i THAT boring??
Posted by: Annie at 2:57 PM

Well whats happened, I hung out with Sean all day- bought three new cds. the new one by Jewel- This Way, The soundtrack to Ali and the new one by DMX- The Great Depression. So far I really like the Jewel one, except she goes from country sounding to alternative to back. Ohwell it's all good. i work tomorrow from 3 till 11:30, which makes no sense to me.. but ohwell. Maybe I can get off earlier :o) So guys if you have any ideas for this site help me out, I'm really at a standstill. I'm thinking of doing something with my closests or extra bedroom, I need a new surrounding, and I really don't want to repaint my whole bedroom!!
Posted by: Arleigh at 8:15 PM

working on the design guys, sorry...
Posted by: Arleigh at 5:29 PM

ok home from ohio... off to bed now.
Posted by: Arleigh at 1:28 AM

http://egomaniac.nu/alive/ I really found alot of sense in that guys posting, I really don't get the point of xmas anymore. I mean Jesus wasn't even born in December, Santa is this fictional character so that the kids don't bug their parents for gifts. Sure it's the holiday to get together with loved ones and share gifts, yet the one person I want to hear from of course hasn't called or wrote or emailed. But hey maybe she's busy overseas....
Kristen and I ended up chilling yesterday which was cool, very lax, but cool. I think we're doing a joint family movie thing to day.

Oh this came in my inbox this morning *What we are on the inside, what we continually think about, eventually shows
in our words, actions, and even our countenances.* -- Linda Dillow
I guess that is very true, I can't give an exact example, but trust me it's true. Anyways it's like 9 oclock, and I haven't opened gifts yet.. I'm not sure if i'm hoping mine here or at Ashland, I vote for here. It's quicker and easier.

Posted by: Arleigh at 8:50 AM

::Listening to- The Calling::

Well whats happened since I last wrote, we went and saw oceans 11- one movie down! We went to the Ashland mall, which was extremely packed and extremely boring. My brothers are being asses, yesterday we went and picked them up and they looked like we were killing them by taking them out of their house. How boring right?
Anyways we are going to help the grandfolks move/pack, but i'll end up playing with Austin the whole time.
::one love::
and no, kristen has been wickedly busy to do anything- but hey it IS her last christmas really home home so I really can't bug her right?
Posted by: Arleigh at 12:12 PM

::Listening to- The Calling::

Well whats happened since I last wrote, we went and saw oceans 11- one movie down! We went to the Ashland mall, which was extremely packed and extremely boring. My brothers are being asses, yesterday we went and picked them up and they looked like we were killing them by taking them out of their house. How boring right?
Anyways we are going to help the grandfolks move/pack, but i'll end up playing with Austin the whole time.
::one love::
and no, kristen has been wickedly busy to do anything- but hey it IS her last christmas really home home so I really can't bug her right?
Posted by: Arleigh at 12:12 PM

::Listening to-Cypress Hill::
The trip here to ohio was long and boring, but I got new shoes outta it at Hagerstown. Anyways, it's time to do the family thing right?
Posted by: Arleigh at 7:37 PM

god man i just typed this long ass post then my computer froze right when i hit post... so this is just gonna be short because i really dont feel like typing it all out again... i'm probably not gonna write in this again until after christmas... so arleigh did you get that eclipse?? i gotta see this, that price on the pic you showed me seemed too low...but i dont know much about cars either... anyway i need to pack sometime tonight... merry christmas!
Posted by: Annie at 9:56 PM

bomb threats are not cool!...it actually wasnt that bad....it could have been that cold and raining or snowing or something...or like 110 degrees...anyway i leave for my dads tomorrow morning so i gotta lot of crap i gotta do tonight
Posted by: Annie at 3:05 PM

Oh i forgot to update you, I "finished" my two papers, I turn in one next period, and then the last (the big one) last period. Tonight is last day of driver improvement, fun stuff. After which I have to pack cuz we are leaving for ohio early tomrorow morning. BUT we are stopping at the Adidas factory, which is totally cool by me. I kidna can't wait to get there, cuz i might actually get 20 mins with kristen (jk) I'm kinda pissed that we have to leave Triton home, I mean he is my dog.. shouldn't he go with me?? Ohwell, time to find food.
Posted by: Arleigh at 10:54 AM

::Listening to- silence::

Long awaited (kinda late) xmas list:

N65 Nikon Camera
100-300 mm Lense
film
Uniball Fine pens
MONEY
Starbucks Card
Blank Mini Disc
AA Batteries
Whatever else floats your boat


Analyzing Lyrics from my journal:
::Match Box 20::
1. no I would not sleep in this bed of lies
- pretty much saying I wouldn't sleep with a person that lies
2. I don't think I could take another empty moment, I don't think I can fake another hollow smile
- I know I do it, I feel like crap yet I force a fake smile on, which kilsl me even more.
3. Just like me you got needs
- everyone has needs, and sometimes you put them on the back burner for others.
4. I think I already lost you, I think you are already gone
- everyone has been in a relationship that it's near the end, but not exactly over, yet you know it will be soon enough.
5. You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong
- i hate people that judge me with out having a freaking clue
6. I think I'm scared, I think too much
-if you know me, you know i usually think too much, though lately I've had no time to think at all.
7. You don't know me now, somehow I thought you should.
-one large example of this is Amber, I thought we would always know each other inside and out, yet we talk now and have to explain everything
8. I feel stupid, but I think I'm catching on
9.While you were sleeping, I was listening to the radio and wondering what you were dreaming- when it came to mind that I didn't even care.
-have you ever been in a relationship where you find out you really don't care about that person like you thought?


Posted by: Arleigh at 10:46 AM

haha wanna hear something pretty sorry...i havent done all my christmas shopping yet and my dad picks me up saturday...its gonna suck going anywhere tomorrow....damnit
Posted by: Annie at 6:49 PM

I have two papers to write tonight, which isn't good at all. Ohwell off to the books. I'll add lyrics and my xmas list later on.
Posted by: Arleigh at 3:02 PM

lol she broke another computer... anyways today was cold and nasty. First bomb scare and we are stuck outside for 2 hours. Guess who had shorts on?? then i give blood, and then i come home. to find a mess by my dog. And btw he isn't going bubye!!
Posted by: Arleigh at 8:07 PM

my computer is so fucked up and for once it wasnt me who did it... so the only computer i have for now is the apartment's one so i wont be on as much unless i am REALLY bored or have work.. sorry arleigh getting rid of a dog is some sad stuff
Posted by: Annie at 6:43 PM

:o( My dogs going bubye tonight...
Posted by: Arleigh at 3:27 PM

i just got back from another game and we won this one.... oh and get this... who played the whole game and only had one foul? that would be me! i am never fouling out again i swear... anyway tomorrow i got some thing i gotta go to with my family and all.. dont ask my mom didnt explain it very well..yea well thats all
Posted by: Annie at 8:13 PM

::listening to- Ballars by Ram Squad::

well my dog decided to crap all over the house, not cool at all. I have driving time at 5. Which is an hour and 15 minsfrom now. I'm cleaning up my desk, cuz it's a freaking mess. Tonight I get home from driving and then I gotta read wuthering heights. or find cliff notes on it :o)
Posted by: Arleigh at 3:50 PM

my coach went totally loco on my ass today...its pretty funny cause she has these mood swings were one second she's totally flipping out then the next she's all buddy buddy...i guess thats her job though.. scream and yell sometimes....yea anyway i pulled my spanish grade up four points.. not bad not bad.. when i get it to a b i will be happy.. anyway i gotta shit load of homework and if it wasnt for first and second period it wouldn't be a thing...but it is!
Posted by: Annie at 9:18 PM

Well I'm writing! Whats happened since last friday..I worked friday night, saturday I worked and then tiesha slept over. My dog bit her ass, it was pretty damn hiliarous. Then we went to Kristens game, they won but she didn't play. I'm figuring after affects of mono. What ya think? I saw annie there, afterwards, but I was pretty distracted. Sorry annie :o) Then I worked last night, fun stuff. Not really. Tiring ass shit.
Posted by: Arleigh at 9:17 AM

guess what.. i actually sat down and watched two hours of tv tonight.. i know.... crazy.. i never watch tv anymore and people are always telling me about movies that they wanna see and i am always like "huh what is that?"...you know bc i never see any previews.... i used to watch tv alot but i kinda swang that addiction over to the internet...and i am trying to ease up on that one too... yep and i am proving that one now by getting off......
Posted by: Annie at 9:33 PM

hey i am going to the navy game sunday too.. i think.. maybe..maybe not... it all depends if i find my id by sunday.. and considering i only looked once..i guess i better get on that one..and tomorrow i got practice then laurens party tomorrow night..tonight i am going to the movies...yea so thats pretty much my plans as of now... i was supposed to go to some christmas party for my apartment complex tonight..but umm...yeaaaa.. that would be a no....
Posted by: Annie at 3:53 PM

Can we say arleigh is bling bling? i just did my whole project during my lunch period, and got in lamenated cuz the media staff loves me. It looks pretty damn sweet let me tell you. Anyways, I work tonight from 7-12 and tomorrow from 10 till 7. Sunday I'm going to kristens game, and then I work at 5 till 10. I have to work on my paper for major britt, make up work for spanish and geo. And make up three uniform days before the end of the semester. Fun stuff right? I can do it!! OH, i got my pay check yesterday, 230 bucks, I guess that's almsot there for my camera... :o) Seani got my camera bag, it's soooooo pretty let me tell you!!
ok I'm hyper needa find food cuz i missed lunch.

one love::
Posted by: Arleigh at 11:06 AM

This probably will be all short and rambly cuz I need to make a brochure for World Civ that's due next period that I have diddly shit done for.. great stuff.. gotta do it. If I get done early I'll write more
-ar
Posted by: Arleigh at 10:26 AM

Ha ha why can't you get in?? I actually did write in here yesterday, it got "missed place" by blogger. So don't ask me. Anyways, I'm between classes right now, I'll write more in 4th pd aka. lunch that I don't go to. I don't see the point in eating lunch at 10 oclock in the morning if I'm going to get out at 2
::One love::
Posted by: Arleigh at 8:17 AM

i just got back from my game and damnit i fouled out again... if this seriously doesnt stop i think my starting position will go down the drain.. its the same thing every game... block block block...so i talked to the ref after the game and they told me why i get blocks called every time..bc i dont keep my feet planted... not that anyone cares but hey! i am like the only one writhing in this anyway now that SOMEONE's internet is off...just playin its a good thing your getting your work done....right.... i am a little nervous about interims tomorrow... and happy we dont have practice!...i might go see not another teen movie but i doubt it cus i dont think we can get in... yep so thats it
Posted by: Annie at 7:39 PM

we won our game...buuuuut...i fouled out again...i was pretty mad..i dont wanna talk about that though..i figured out most of my grades and i think i am totally ellgiable..its a very big relief...spanish and psych are holdin me up....yea so i am supposed to go to womans navy game sunday for our basketball team or something..i dunno but i lost my old school id so as of now i'm not going.. i hear you can get id's at dmv so i might go there.. we got another game tomorrow at 5 15..lets see if i can stay in this one..yea so thats about it..

by the way thanks for the advice ar.. .....later
Posted by: Annie at 8:13 PM

well... i was outta school yesterday.. cuz of yeh.. If you know what UTI is ok, if not don't ask. Annie, if you wanna talk just call me.. 443-306-4213 I forgot to give you my new cell number... SORRY!! ;o)
Nothings really happened this week.. class and being in pain. Tonights my last night of class. Finally! I work from 3-5 then have class from 6-9. And then I'm going home and just sleepin the night away. Oh, I finally got some pix from Pisgah, and more from MICA scanned in.. good stuff :o) I'll try and get them online.. kinda hard when ur at school doing it all now.
::One love::

p.s: Annie, just keep your head above the water.. that's all you can do in those times.
Posted by: Arleigh at 8:51 AM

i just got home from practice.. we gotta game tomorrow and thursday..tomorrow at 5 15 and thursday i'm not sure but i'm gonna say 5 15 too...i gotta do some homework to bring some of my grades up...arleigh your not on anymore so i have no one to talk to.. :(.. just joking...
Posted by: Annie at 8:34 PM

have you ever had a day where it feels like everyone is trying to screw you over.. so far my week has been like that...i am too close to the line of being inelligable that its really stressing me.. if i seem out of it this week, sorry i am...later
Posted by: Annie at 2:59 PM

tonight is one of those nights where i am saying screw it.. i am taking a shower doing hm and going to bed..later
Posted by: Annie at 6:52 PM

you turned the internet off...WOW
Posted by: Annie at 5:42 PM

Well.. so arleigh has deprived herself from internet.. so all my blogs and email checking will be at school till xmas break when I turn my internet back on. I know I know, I'm dumb but ya know it's a huge distraction for me, and I have tons of shit to do before break.. a paper, and alot of test. So its a good thing in away... not really but ohwell.

Nothing really happened this weekend, I worked, slept and worked. Fun stuff right?? But I keep sayingto myself.. CAMERA!!
Posted by: Arleigh at 2:18 PM

or not
Posted by: Annie at 8:14 PM

hahaha i just realized that last one went on twice
Posted by: Annie at 8:13 PM

i went to bethany today and saw a bunch of people and my brothers... it was alright... i had fun at my dads... i was just happy to go because i dont see him that much and we get along great so i am just happy when i do get to see him.. my parents are all asking me what i want for christmas and really have no clue.. so far all i have said was money... my mom kinda pissed me off today but what else is new.. i told her that i wanted to get my tongue or lip or eyebrow or something pierced because i wanted to for like forever and she like started going off on me... i was like... dude, chill..its my body and if i have to i will wait until i am 18.. she said not if i am relying on her for money then i wont... do you really think i was out of line saying i wanted something pierced??.. but whatever she is weird..anyway i gtg
Posted by: Annie at 7:08 PM

Ok I'm going to work on this paper for Major Britt, and then I work from 1-10. Soooo yeh. I'll catch you all on the flip side.. like tomrorow before class

Ar
Posted by: Arleigh at 10:44 AM

Yeh.. work was uhh.. Fun. I got my new phone today, and I've already found one I want more. I know I'm retarded. Anyways, I'm about to go running with my dog. I have tons on my mind.. if I figure it out or if i don't and I'm still alive when I get home I'll write more.
:: One Love::
Posted by: Arleigh at 11:39 PM

i get to go to my dads this weekend and its cool because i havent seen him in a while.. so yea i have practice tomorrow at 9 then right after it i am on my way to philly.. i'll be back sunday sometime but i have absoultely no clue when.. i think when i am at my dad's i will stop at fairman's and see what new shit they got in.. i mean, christmas is coming right up.. :)... anyway thats it for now
Posted by: Annie at 9:22 PM

wanna hear the joke of the day? Becky said her mom makes 85k a year... can we say bullshit?? If she did, they wouldn't be living in that house, and her driving that car. AND she totally wouldn't be looking for scholarship money now would she?? Ohwell I work from 4:30-10 I believe.. so I might be on late tonight.
::one love ::
Posted by: Arleigh at 2:56 PM

Well I'm here, finally getting the hang of this, so basically I'm posting about nothing, just letting me presence be known. I'm sure once you hit a subject that I can take off on then I will. Otherwise I'm a fly on the wall until something pops up I can really rant about. Until that happens I'll just continue bugging Arleigh in Major British Writers...
Posted by: Sean at 10:28 PM

::Listening to- Good Enough(Acoustic) by Sarah McLachlan::

Well class was boring as usual lol. I've been analyzing songs, if you couldn't tell in past blogs. so here we go.

"Fulfillment of their lack of strength at your expense- left you with no defense. They tore it down. I have felt the same."
This would be about those people that try and crush you to build themselves up. It sux we all know this. And yet sometimes we are those people, using other people as stepping stones for our ego.

"You lost yourself in the search to find, someting else to hide behind."
I'm victim of this as we speak. I'm never content on who I am. Always want to find that perfect friend, or perfect love, or something better. Maybe it's somethign to hide behind as the lyrics say. But I knwo somehow I'm giong to lose who I really am while searching for something that I'm not.




Posted by: Arleigh at 10:04 PM

i just got back from my game and we lost.. we played a hell of a game though.. the end score was 52-58..i was really really mad with myself because at the end i fouled out which totally sucked because it was right when we needed to come back.. two other people on my team fouled out and we were all key players so it really sucked.. i thought in general we all played good and the score was up and down all game.. i am kinda pissed though because now we are gonna have saturday practice and i was supposed to see my dad this weekend and saturday practices are manditory.. and i haven't seen my dad in like a month.. i dont know what i'm gonna do because this is my last chance to see him until christmas..ahh this really sucks
Posted by: Annie at 7:25 PM

::Listening to- Thank You by Natalie Merchant::

Well I have about an hour and a half till I have to be at class and I still haven't taken that nap.. hmm Ohwell. I'll take my homework along and do it, so I can get some sleep for once tonight. Either that or this weekend I sleep till an hour before work :o) I hope they didn't schedule me for gay hours this week coming up.. I do have class people!! Ohwell, school was pretty lax today, I'm hoping it will be tomorrrow as well. Life would be very good if my week was completed by a good friday.
Posted by: Arleigh at 4:45 PM

Sorry I haven't been posting a tons, yesterday I did kinda.. but not really. I've really been working on different layout options and all. BTW Navy bball womens won last night, and Kristen with mono and all made a three pointer :o) Ohwell, I'm at school till like 3'sh maybe alittle later, who knows. I'm going home and sleeping till 5:30 no matter what. UNLESS the puppy did something really stupid.
Posted by: Arleigh at 2:26 PM

pretty boring and long day... i was really tired and was fortunate enough that today was that honor roll thing... and the class i was in was all honor roll people so i got to sleep that period... stupid miss smithers gave us a lecture today.. and she called me a snob because i dont talk to her outside of the class.... i was like riiiiiiiight... if i would talk to any teacher it would definatly not be her...hahaha... anyway we got our first real game tomorrow and i am stoked.. but kinda nervous..we'll see what happens
Posted by: Annie at 8:10 PM

Two songs of the day, one is the one I sent to Kristen earlier this week as a random thought

Hero- Mariah Carey
There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And the emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time
You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

That is mainly on my mind because I'm realizing everything in life is not emotions like I thought, or finding that special someone. You have to live for yourself and no one else. So that hero inside yourself is what i get outta it.

Second song Somewhere in Between- Lifehouse

I can't be losing sleep over this, no I can't
And now I can not stop pacing
Give me a few hours, I'll have all this sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head but underneath my feet
Cuz by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

Cuz I'm wating for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this

Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

Cuz I'm wating for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream
What is real, and just a dream

Mainly this song is in my head because I feel like I am stuck somewhere in the middle.. somewhere between. At times life seems like a dream, and then at times it seems too real. Today something so huge, yet so little happened. I talked to Joy Eskuchen for the first time since I quit softball. It was mostly all small talk- no it was all small talk- but its good to know that I don't have that on my heart anymore. That someone is so disappointed in me that they no longer want to speak to me. Sure I knwo that the chances of us trusting one another ever again is horrible. But being able to say that I no longer don't get along, or don't talk is a good feeling.
Nothing else happened today, I did yet another last minute color guard for ms. deafenbaugh. Fun stuff.. or not :o) Took a test on Macbeth that I failed misaberably at. Yeh I can't spell. Had a staff meeting which was the normal boring self. I have class in about an hour, so I'm going to go take a nap or work on cleaning up my other room. Oh my moms birthdays in...five days, just incase someone wants to get her something :o)

Really quickly, off what annie said about the whole trust thing. I think everyone has issues trusting, but with somepeople those issues just disappear for the time being. I know she trust me with almost anything if I asked, and the same way with Kristen, everything fits right I guess. I believe it's fine to feel scared about trusting, and not wanting to be let down. How many people say hey I want my heart ripped out and ate for dinner by the dog. I personally can't name anyone. My advice for all, including myself have fun, live, and do your best for no one but yourself. In the long run it doesn't matter how many people you impressed or anything. What matters is how happy you are. Plain and simple..
-one love
Posted by: Arleigh at 4:57 PM

Just got in from drivers ed. going to do some hw and I might be on later, much later tonight. I have a shit load of hw.
Posted by: Arleigh at 9:55 PM

it seems to me that all my life i always have had a problem with trust.. mainly because i have trusted some people before and they let me down. it hurts pretty bad when you dont think you can trust anyone. especially when you got something goin on, and you dont trust anyone enough to tell them, because you know they are gonna go and say something about it when you thought you had their trust... thats why i am hesitant at just opening myself up all the time.. because i am scared.. i dont wanna be let down again because its not cool.. it hurts...but i am going out on a limb here.. and if something comes up then i gotta do something.. i can't keep this shit inside me because if i do for too long some day i am gonna blow.. i think i know pretty well who i can and cant trust so far.. i think i will just write it down in here because usually when something is wrong it just feels better to get it out i guess.. i think thats just what i am doing now..
Posted by: Annie at 9:07 PM

well I got home about 20 mins ago from being downtown. Fun stuff. I'm going to take a nap for an hour and hopefully catch up on some sleep. Nothing really happened today, we got our test back in Spanish. I got a C, which isn't bad since the highest grade was an 86. Then Geo went the norm, lunch was ok. I asked bridgette to goto ohio/ky with us. She needs a new setting and i'm hoping that taking her away for a few days will do it. World civ, we had a DBQ all period.. fun stuff. Umm in ROTC we talked about stars and telescopes. Even funner. Last pd we read more of Macbeth- not fun stuff, but atleast I'm understanding it right?

I had my interview for pao, retarded crap. Umm.. Kristen emailed me- I knwo it's a shock, we always talk on AIM ;o) Umm nothing else happened, I took danielle home and that was that. And now I'm going to eat/nap
Posted by: Arleigh at 4:52 PM

Random parts of lyrics from the Callings CD.
"I've given you everything I can and you show no faith in me"
I guess this is aimed at a few people, but I won't name many names. Everyone knows me with friendships I give everything I possibly can- emotionally and physically (as in money). I still haven't found someone to do that in return, but that's beside the point. Instead I don't get why after all I do, going abvoe and beyond if I make one mistake or they do, it all comes crashing down. When your good friends you will have your share of fights and mistakes. I always thought you took it in stride and dealt with it. Not totally shut down. I've had so many people lately do something like that. Once w/ Erin the mistake was my fault but w/ everyone else they were either a.)jealous or b.) never were true to being with. So what i'm looking for is that true friend. Doesn't seem like much to ask for, but damn is it.

"You left me with goodbye and open arms.. you were always invincible in my eyes."
This would be towards Amber. She was (is) a good friend, even though she tried to hide her faults; I knew they were there and it made her that much more important in my life. How someone could give a person love and a great friendship and then up and just stop, is a mystery to me. I know she cares all the way in Japan but if only she would let me know every once in awhile.


Posted by: Arleigh at 11:06 AM

So the first one is an email that totally made me think about Amber, esp. since it's from a marine in Okinawa, which is where she is. and the second is a song that's been buggin me all day. Just hit home I guess. Congrats to annie btw.


TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
> HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
> IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

> I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
> WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
> AND TO SEE JUST WHO
> IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
>
> I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
> A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
> NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
> NOT EVEN A TREE.
>
> NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
> JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND
> ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES
> OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
>
> WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
> AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
> A SOBER THOUGHT
> CAME THROUGH MY MIND.
>
> FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
> IT WAS DARK AND DREARY,
> I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
> ONCE I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
>
> THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
> SILENT, ALONE,
> CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
> IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
>
> THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
> THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
> NOT HOW I PICTURED
> A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
>
> WAS THIS THE HERO
> OF WHOM I'D JUST READ?
> CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
> THE FLOOR FOR A BED
>
> I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
> THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
> OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
> WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
>
> SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
> THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
> AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
> A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
>
> THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
> EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
> BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
> LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
>
> I COULDN'T HELP WONDER
> HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
> ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
> IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
>
> THE VERY THOUGHT
> BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE,
> I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
> AND STARTED TO CRY.
>
> THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
> AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
"SANTA DON'T CRY,
> THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
>
> I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
> I DON'T ASK FOR MORE,
> MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
> MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
>
> THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
> AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
> I COULDN'T CONTROL IT,
> I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
>
> I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
> SO SILENT AND STILL
> AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
> FROM THE COLD NIGHT'S CHILL.
>
> I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE
> ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
> THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
> SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
>
> THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
> WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
> WHISPERED, "CARRY ON SANTA,
> IT'S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE."
>
> ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
> AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
> "MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
> AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT."
>
> "This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa Japan. The
> following is his request. I think it is reasonable..... PLEASE. Would you
> do me the kind favor of sending this to as many people as you can?
> Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is due to our U.S. service
> men and women for our being able to celebrate these festivities. Let's
> try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what we owe. Make
> people stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed
> themselves for us. Please, do your small part to plant this small seed."

By Sarah of course

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there

so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here


Posted by: Arleigh at 10:04 PM

i just got back from another scrimmage and we kicked again.. but its just scrimmages now.. our first game is thursday and i am already nervous.. i played all game today and did pretty good.. one of our starters was hurt today so we got a new 5 in and we really pulled it together.. we had the other team 18 to 6 at the last game.. something like that.. anyway thats about it. i got no homework tonight so i am totally goin to bed early!
Posted by: Annie at 8:28 PM

Well I've decided instead of a thousand dollar digital camera i'll get a 35mm. So I can switch lens' and shit. I think it will be good cuz it's cheaper :o)

ohwell my backs all messed up they think I have a pinched nerve so I gotta go to the docs tomorrow.
I really don't have anythign to talk about. I hung out with danielle and sean all afternoon looking at cameras and driving to spark for taco bell. Don't ask me why!! Ohwell I'm going to go look at Nikons online!!
-one love
Posted by: Arleigh at 5:13 PM

Ok, well I'm in lunch and I've been thinking on cutting back on my internet addiction :o) I needa cut back on the hours till I get DSL, which I'm not sure when that will be. Esp after last night and Kevin flipping out over nothing. I swear people need to take chill pills in life, don't get so stessed or emotional over the gayest things in life. There are other things to think about, and work towards ya know??
I was going to scan in some new drawings but the computer with a scanner I took apart earlier this period, but tomorrow I'm putting it back I believe so then I'll scan them in. OH and I don't work tomorrow thru thursday so I'm going to clean up my room and do some shit that shoulda been done last week. For example xmas list for me and who to get what. Another would be finally finishing Erin's letter. I still can't believe she reacted like she did, I knew she would be upset but hurt? I hadn't a clue.

ohwell I'm going to go change the template if I find one I like
-one love
Posted by: Arleigh at 11:07 AM

gotta jet sorry- one love
Posted by: Arleigh at 10:58 PM

i am pretty tired i skated non stop today from 12 to now... i was with that kid sean all day pretty much but at one time i had like 5 people here skating this rail me and sean found.. it is pretty sick.. i was pulling 50-50's and 5-0's all day.. anyway thats all i did today and after i eat dinner i am going back out to skate for a little bit.. i am gonna pull that rail back out cus i wanna land kickflip 50 50 before today is over.. oh yea i got to see what a computer looks like from the inside.. we found a computer beside the dumpster and smashed the screen off.. it was nothing special...just looked like a bunch of wires.. anyway thats it for now
Posted by: Annie at 5:23 PM

saying hi and bye.. I need sleep I must work from 1-10 tomrorow. a buncha bs huh
ohwell money as I say. Oh btw annie and i hung otu today it was totally chill :o)
Oh and navy won.. what a first
-one love
Posted by: Arleigh at 12:43 AM