I lean against the wind, pretend that i am weightless and in this moment
i am happy
2.28.2003
Finding some awesome friends in life... kinda found the happy medium between over thinking and going with the flow. It is going well thus far, well until my cell bill comes in this month. HA! Ohwell, that's what the big bucks I'm making is for right? To feed my entertainment needs.

A couple nights back, Tuesday maybe? Kristen and I had a talk, and I guess my final conclusion from it is I need space from her right now. Or I will continue to see things in a distrued manor, which will make things only worse for whatever friendship/relationship we want out of this ton of shambles we are left standing in. I dont want to be left regretting things that made me smile at one time, so I'm going to stop now.. take a breather... and see what happens down the road.

It is snowing like hell froze over..at times it has felt like it really has...ohwell. Odd week, I'll give it that.
Posted by: Arleigh at 12:23 AM


2.26.2003
Get fucked up- stay fucked up- Iconz

Sleeping the rest of my life away... I think thats the only way to live anymore...stupid fucking people.
Posted by: Arleigh at 6:42 PM


2.24.2003
Ok I was a test whore tonight...

What's Your Flavor?
Yum! You're blueberry. Natural, sweet, and a little sporty, you're as tasty as they come.

Temperament Description:
Idealist:::
All Idealists (NFs) share the following core characteristics:
Idealists are enthusiastic, they trust their intuition, yearn for romance, seek their true self, prize meaningful relationships, and dream of attaining wisdom.
Idealists pride themselves on being loving, kindhearted, and authentic.
Idealists tend to be giving, trusting, spiritual, and they are focused on personal journeys and human potentials.
Idealists make intense mates, nurturing parents, and inspirational leaders.

The four types of Idealists are:
Healers (INFP) | Counselors (INFJ) | Champions (ENFP) | Teachers (ENFJ)

Purity Test:
You are 31% Pure!
(Very interesting.)
Here's how the REST of the world breaks down, compared to you:
people less pure than you (5%)
people like you (0%)
people more pure than you (95%)

Based on the 12,443,796 submissions before you.

Posted by: Arleigh at 9:27 PM


2.22.2003
What color is your heart?
My heart is Pink. "Your heart is pink. Wow this is almost gross. You love anything and everyone. It's great that you think so highly of everything but just so you know, most of the world does not share your "peppy" feelings. You may want to cut back on thsoe happy pills."

Ouch.... but what sucks even more is I agree....

Posted by: Arleigh at 11:33 PM


2.20.2003
I give up, I don't get it... what is the purpse of love anyways? To break your heart? All I was asking for was honesty... I couldn't even get that... even now I can't get that.
Posted by: Arleigh at 6:53 PM

2.17.2003
A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I donít think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when Iím dreaming of your face

Iím here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Iím here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight itís only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go

Iím here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Iím here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl itís only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it wonít take away my love
And when the last one falls, when itís all said and done
it get hard but it wonít take away my love

Iím here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Iím here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl itís only you and me

Iím here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
Iím here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl itís only you and me- 3 Doors Down

Posted by: Arleigh at 10:33 AM


2.16.2003
So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way. I smoke the
whole thing to my head and feel it
wash away 'cause i don't take anymore
or this, I want to come apart.
or dig myself a little hole inside
your precious heart - Staind

Posted by: Arleigh at 7:25 PM

http://members.cox.net/amatricis/poetry/collegestudent.html

It is snowing like hell really did freeze over... ohwell, maybe I won't have to do anything tomorrow... ha right. Poor Tre is stuck in DC, with no way back.. and I'm def. not going to get him in this shit.. I told him as soon as I can see the road, and the snow stops I'll go. (I have no idea when that will be)

Talked to Kristen today..I can honestly say I really dont want her friendship right now. I'm not saying I don't need it, but I'm still needing to grow alot before we try again. Until then we will be umm... dont know the name for it... but no matter what there will always be that unconditional love that you don't find anywhere anymore. I guess I can deal with that until I am ready for starting over again.
Posted by: Arleigh at 2:59 PM


2.14.2003
For everyone out there, I want to put up a notice of confusion.. it has nothing to do with anyone but myself...
Posted by: Arleigh at 12:18 AM

2.11.2003
I think breaking things has become my thing to do these days...
Posted by: Arleigh at 1:20 AM

2.8.2003
Oh no
here comes that sun again
that means another day
without you my friend
And it hurts me
to look into the mirror at myself
and it hurts even more
to have to be with somebody else
and it's so hard to do
and so easy to say
but sometimes
sometimes you just have to walk away
walk away
With so many people
to love in my life
why do I worry
about one
But you put the happy
in my ness
you put the good times
into my fun
and it's so hard to do
and so easy to say
but sometimes
sometimes you just have to walk away
walk away
and head for the door
We've tried the goodbye
so many days
we walk in the same direction
so that we could never stray
they say if you love somebody
than you have got to set them free
but I would rather be locked to you
than live in this pain and misery
They say time will
make all this go away
but it's time that has taken my tomorrows
and turned them into yesterdays
and once again you my friend
are nowhere to be found
and it's so hard to do
and so easy to stay
but sometimes
sometimes you just have to walk away
walk away
and head for the door
you just walk away
walk away
Ben Harper :: Walk Away

Posted by: Arleigh at 2:16 PM

The worst feeling in the world... realizing that best friend is growing apart from you. Well, you growing apart from them. One day things will work out chica, until then I won't try- all I seem to do is hurt you.
Posted by: Arleigh at 1:48 PM

2.5.2003
The best feeling in the world.. being able to call your best friend at 1am, just to say I love you and them say it back because they mean it. Def. the best feeling in the world. Kristen I know we've been through alot, and we are going to go through even more.. the crazy thing is I know we'll get through it fine.

Ya know how in middle and high school you always have that image of the bestfriend, that perfect one that everyone seems to have but you? The friend that you can have a fight with, but will still be there 20 minutes after you call them a bitch, because they are that- you're best friend. Kristen, you're that for me. i dont' say it enough, and I know we put each other through some stupid shit.. but in the end you still mean more to me than any friend has ever before. I would do anything for you, and I know it's the same for you.. that means alot.

There has been so many times in the past year where I have been rock bottom, wanting to make up a new name for myself and move away from this crazy thing I call life. The one thing that pulled me through was the I love you's and hugs that you give with out asking. Remember how things were so shitty about a month ago, and yet I needed you- so you were there. Drove an hour just to be there and be with me when I needed you to be. Or this summer I went to that concert in Philly, you drove up because of your grandmother--- I came over after concert, couldn't do much for you-- but I was there right?? We will always be there for each other, and that is one amazing feit in life.

As I said earlier in the week, I have one good friendship... which means I'm doing something in life right?
Posted by: Arleigh at 12:36 AM


2.3.2003
Arleigh= laid up in bed all day cuz a motorcycle fell on her ankle this morning... after 3 hours in the ER... .I'm home FINALLY :)
Posted by: Arleigh at 5:33 PM

2.2.2003
Is it too late to make new year resolutions?? Ok, so me Captain Random, did another random act last night... if you know me you know what it is. Anyways, so I've given up on guys and girls, pretty much the worlds population. I want friends in life and that's it, I'm tired of games, I'm tired of drama... I'm tired of putting people and their lives before mine. With all that said, that's my resolution-- no more drama filled relationships, or one week stands, or one night stands. I'm done. I know in three months I'll be head over heels in love again, but right now this is what I need to do for myself. Live for myself, no one else, nothing else... just Arleigh.

One thing I did realize last night, I have some really, really, really, really great friends that I never knew were even there. When you are stranded with people that you no longer want to even associate with, in the middle of a place, with no way home or away from that place... and the only thing you have to entertain/save yourself is your cell phone (with free nights and weekends)..... you tend to bond with whoever is going to be your savior for those 3-4-5-6 hours.

Today, I had tons of time to think--- so the more I thought the more I thought about Amber out in Seattle, wondering where our friendship went... I know I messed up alot, I was 14 and trying to be best friends with a 21 year old. I'm not using that as an excuse, I know I fucked up-- but before she graduated everything started going down hill... didn't see her all summer while she was up in Rhode Island.. then she came down and we went to Army Navy... fucked up majorly that night.... and ever since nothing has been the same.

Also, on my little brain storming, head checking, I started thinking about all those people I know that can have sex with out thinking, can be with someone for a week, break up and just start dating someone else... The ones that don't seem to have a heart anymore. Part of me wishes I was like them, being able to just move on like that... Then I think of how they got there, and I know they had to be hurt many times over to be that numb in their heart.
I know I want to live for myself, and I want to live carefree, acting my age with out the tie downs... but I don't want to go numb, I still want to be able to care... just not to the extent my heart seems to wanna give EVERYONE.

Enough bitching for the day, I'm going to go for a drive.. ha sorry, I've been in the car soooo much in the past 24 hours... Btw.. thanks Nikki, Emma, Nick, and who ever else entertained me in my boredom last night.

What is this love
That I leave behind
How can I turn
From the tears in your eyes
What is this world
Where we always pretend
That it is worth it
Worth it in the end
What is this life we share
That I just throw away
Is this love
That causes so much pain
What is the promise
That I leave behind
Why can't I
Just lie beside you again
What's goin' on
How'd it get so wrong
What is this dream
That I'll never find
What is this prayer
That's stealing my mind
What is this deal
That I've just made with fate
And I wonder
If I have left it too late
-Blue Rodeo

Posted by: Arleigh at 1:07 PM



About Me:
Name: Arleigh
Location: Between GA and MD
Contact: Email

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