I always seem to do the first- what should be said, what should be done. I keep getting the shorter end of the stick for that....
Anyways, classes are going fine. Econ there are only 2 other girls, esp. since Tara- one of the ONLY people I know in any of my classes switched out. Comp Sci there are two chicks, both know NOTHING about computers. English is going to be rather easy seeing I have read three of the four books.

On the music side of my life, been listening to a rather wide variety.. weezer, days of the new, our lady peace to garth brooks and tim mcgraw. i'm getting into the emo punk side of music... very slowly.
Posted by: Arleigh at 4:31 PM

Oh I got a new toy! Schwinn Mesa Disc :)
Posted by: Arleigh at 10:36 PM

I guess this is true, I know the next year won't be too easy. Then again I also know that if its going to be on the trend my life has been on, it will be intresting to say the least.

Off the normal subject I've been talking about lately (friends and life being retarded) Our a/c is fixed!! A couple days ago it ate shit, don't ask me why I didn't talk to the guy that came to fix it- but I've been dying at night. During the day it isn't that bad, but at night I like to snuggle under my blanket- when it is 75 out and your under a down blanket it gets somewhat hot under there.

It's fixed and I'm happy.
Posted by: Arleigh at 11:17 AM

My love may know no bounds before but I do know now...I could've loved you more, you know.
"It's not about understanding...it's about not giving up...."

I wished you said this to me instead rather than me trying to understand with all of my might. But then again...
when you gave up...there was no point in understanding.

'nuf said...love has its way of proving its worth. All I wished for was your heart...but maybe too soon.
And I am sorry that I can't be what your heart was yearning. I am truly sorry but I have loved you...with all of my heart, soul, and mind.

I hope your dreams do come true...I'm sorry for loving you so much."

http://angstsandjoys.blogspot.com/ <-- good site. Got me to figure out what needed to be said to the person from the previous post.

Posted by: Arleigh at 10:48 PM

I used to have a "Dear Viewers" section before I redesigned my site. It mainly said I will not trash my step-dad's company etc etc. I would keep that "trash" to myself, in real time. Now here is a question, am I a hyprocrite if I trash someone without using names? Maybe and I'm sorry for that one, but I must get something off my mind so I can sleep atleast 3 hours tonight.

I've complained before, saying I don't know what to do with a certain friendship. I hate letting people down ya know? I think most people aren't comfortable with that thought, I know I can't think of anyone off the top of my head that doesn't mind it. At the same time I don't think I can let myself be in a heartbreaking cycle as I always seem to get myself into. It was a good friendship, the beginning was so rare and amazing. Then the heartache, arguements over nothing and misunderstanding began. Don't take all this wrong- it was an amazing friendship. That word though, was, I don't know where it all went wrong. I didn't have enough time, or I wanted too much time from her- I couldn't find a solid middle ground.

I have come to think in the past week maybe it was all my fault. No. I truely believe that it is my fault this friendship didn't work. I can't help why it didn't though. It is who I am. I don't act my age, I haven't since I was 4 years old. I expect more from my friendships, because I give more to them. I'm too mature for my age, so when I find a friendship that at my age should be perfect I can have no part in it. We laughed, we cried, we had our deep conversations, and random blabbling at 3am. Now we have to say goodbye until we both want the same thing, until we find that middle ground.

I am sorry I wasn't all you needed, I'm not the one to call your friend for all times.
Posted by: Arleigh at 4:19 AM

Tomorrow I believe I am waking up at 330 AM to goto the beach one last time for the summer with Kristin before she leaves for college Friday.
I know this wasn't a long post but I really need sleep.
Posted by: Arleigh at 5:19 PM

I am always getting harrased by some friend or another for thinking too much. Everytime my reply is "that is who I am, I can't change it." I've changed what my major may be 3 times in the past 2 months- prior to that I knew what I wanted all through out high school. I'm really not fully sure why, I think I have changed alot this summer.

This whole "thought" thought came off of what all happened this summer. I met some great friends:: Malone; Kristin; Travis, and prolly another handful. I got burnt a few good times, went to the beach, spent a buttload of money on who knows what, saw some really great movies (The Signs, Gia, The Hobbit) I also was hurt alot this summer, losing Anands friendship over something stupid (I did try to talk to him yesterday), confusing start with Kristin, killing my shoulder, losing a great friend.
I changed alot this summer, I now know who I am, and my strengths- I have new limits from being pushed so far. I have better realization of what I want from life. Don't take that wrong, I don't know exactly what I want but I don't think anyone does until they have it and have experienced it. All in all I realized that I am me, Arleigh Jenkins and no one can change that.
Posted by: Arleigh at 5:18 PM

Nothing else really happened this weekend, had some sushi and some TGIF. Ran a shit load, tired as hell now.

Ok, when I come up with blabbin about I'll share- until then ciao.
Posted by: Arleigh at 9:49 PM

Someday we値l know
Why Sampson loved Dalilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you値l know
That I was the one for you....

Posted by: Arleigh at 4:03 PM

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here
Posted by: Arleigh at 3:59 PM

Random thought- burnt the shit outta my tongue on a hot pocket this morning. That really sucks, ohwell.. Just wanted to whine for a few minutes.
Posted by: Arleigh at 3:57 PM

This week has been umm.. I don't kno the word but that has been it. Frustrating and a huge headache. I hate fighting people. Just take that to note. I hate it. And I hate feeling like I failed someone.

There are maybe 6 people tops in my life that I would do anything for. Love beyond words and can trust my everything with. Sometimes thou, this past week- my everything hasn't seem good enough for someone. I am sorry, and I am trying. I don't mean to falter, or question. My sanity seems to be on the brink at certain times with this person. My everything isn't good enough to recieve all theirs.. I'm sorry is all I can say.

Other news- I finally got cable modem. It isn't fully fixed yet because we didn't buy the router or set up the router thru my spare laptop... but before malone goes to school it will be. Can I say that if you don't have it, go get it- it is worth every penny you have to scrunge for under the sofa. :)
Posted by: Arleigh at 6:15 PM

Because we are stupid human beings.

We are let down daily by the stupidest things that should have no effect on us what so ever. People not calling, missing keys, forgotten passwords. All we worry about are the little things, such as petty fights. I find it worthless and yet I get caught up and do it all too...

Just a thought.
Posted by: Arleigh at 8:00 PM

My saying for the week
Posted by: Arleigh at 4:10 PM

this is what i have wanted
all i could hope for in dreams
this is it, it's over now
you're the friend for life
how do i make you see
dreams do come true

i can't make you do this
i can't make you love
you have to give me your heart
all on your own accord
you have to decide
to be mine, be mine

if i asked you forever
would you give it
if i gave you my heart
would you break me

i have been waiting for it
that moment to hold you
to be at piece with ourselves
two hearts beating hard
beating at the same time

i can't make you do this
i can't make you love
you have to give me your heart
all on your own accord
you have to decide
to be mine, be mine

if you get them ok, if not email me- i may explain, prolly not but give it a chance.

can't stop hurting
can't stop thinking
how special you were
how hard this may be
things that no one could be
you had qualites
you had strengths

you had your place
you could always call me
we had our problems
we had our fights
our love never ended
our friendship never ceased
all our special moments
can't believe this is it
can't believe you are gone

can't stop hurting
can't stop thinking
can't believe this is it
can't believe you are gone

That last one's for sean...I hope God does all he can for him.

you said hello
that's all it took
you knew me
i wanted you too
that's all it took
one simple glance
one stupid look
i'm not nuts
i've just known
that hello was it
the very beginning
i would be bare
all from that
....hello

Another one to email me if you wanna kno

reach out for me
i want to touch you
only one more time
before you leave
you are my life
you can hold my heart
you can give me breath
you make me believe
in life and love
i tried to run yesterday
i tried to find a way
my way is only with you
by your side close by
even when i am
100 miles away
and you are out of reach
you are my life
you can hold my heart
you can give me breath
you make me believe
in life and love

Last one I promise

we are so alike
so different
and so in love
i know this isn't it
isn't how you want it
i'm sorry i can't be it
i can't be the one for you
i wish i could be that one
the one to make love
the one that gets that love
the one to hold you

i'm sorry this isn't it
i'll be everything i can
everything for you
i'll be there always
we can make it through this
we can be the best of the best
we can be in love
in love with out making love
with out you giving your whole heart
i'll always be there for you

i'm sorry this isn't all you want
i can't give that to you
but would it be too much to ask
for half of your heart to love
Posted by: Arleigh at 11:37 AM

You Get Me- Michelle Branch

So I'm a little left of center
I'm a little out of tune
Some say I'm paranormal
So I just bend their spoon
Who wants to be ordinary
In a crazy, mixed-up world
I don't care what they're sayin'
As long as I'm your girl

Hey, you are on my side
And they, they just roll their eyes

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
Yeah, you get me

So what if I see the sunshine
In the pouring rain
Some people think I'm crazy
But you say it's okay
You've seen my secret garden
Where all of my flowers grow
In my imagination
Anything goes

I, I am all you want
They, they just read me wrong

You get me
When nobody understands
You come and hold my hand, baby
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
Still you want me all the time
Yeah, you do
'Cause you get me

Hey, you are on my side
They, they just roll their eyes
Yeah, yeah, yeah

'Cause you get me
When nobody understands
You come and take the chance, baby
You get me
When none of the pieces fit
You make sense of it
You get me
You look inside my wild mind
Never knowing what you'll find
And still I want you all the time
Yeah, I do
'Cause you get me

Yeah, oh, yeah, oh
Posted by: Arleigh at 12:21 AM

--edit-- found on limewire. thank god
Posted by: Arleigh at 5:20 PM