I guess this is true, I know the next year won't be too easy. Then again I also know that if its going to be on the trend my life has been on, it will be intresting to say the least.

Off the normal subject I've been talking about lately (friends and life being retarded) Our a/c is fixed!! A couple days ago it ate shit, don't ask me why I didn't talk to the guy that came to fix it- but I've been dying at night. During the day it isn't that bad, but at night I like to snuggle under my blanket- when it is 75 out and your under a down blanket it gets somewhat hot under there.

It's fixed and I'm happy.
Posted by: Arleigh at 11:17 AM

My love may know no bounds before but I do know now...I could've loved you more, you know.
"It's not about understanding...it's about not giving up...."

I wished you said this to me instead rather than me trying to understand with all of my might. But then again...
when you gave up...there was no point in understanding.

'nuf said...love has its way of proving its worth. All I wished for was your heart...but maybe too soon.
And I am sorry that I can't be what your heart was yearning. I am truly sorry but I have loved you...with all of my heart, soul, and mind.

I hope your dreams do come true...I'm sorry for loving you so much."

http://angstsandjoys.blogspot.com/ <-- good site. Got me to figure out what needed to be said to the person from the previous post.

Posted by: Arleigh at 10:48 PM

I used to have a "Dear Viewers" section before I redesigned my site. It mainly said I will not trash my step-dad's company etc etc. I would keep that "trash" to myself, in real time. Now here is a question, am I a hyprocrite if I trash someone without using names? Maybe and I'm sorry for that one, but I must get something off my mind so I can sleep atleast 3 hours tonight.

I've complained before, saying I don't know what to do with a certain friendship. I hate letting people down ya know? I think most people aren't comfortable with that thought, I know I can't think of anyone off the top of my head that doesn't mind it. At the same time I don't think I can let myself be in a heartbreaking cycle as I always seem to get myself into. It was a good friendship, the beginning was so rare and amazing. Then the heartache, arguements over nothing and misunderstanding began. Don't take all this wrong- it was an amazing friendship. That word though, was, I don't know where it all went wrong. I didn't have enough time, or I wanted too much time from her- I couldn't find a solid middle ground.

I have come to think in the past week maybe it was all my fault. No. I truely believe that it is my fault this friendship didn't work. I can't help why it didn't though. It is who I am. I don't act my age, I haven't since I was 4 years old. I expect more from my friendships, because I give more to them. I'm too mature for my age, so when I find a friendship that at my age should be perfect I can have no part in it. We laughed, we cried, we had our deep conversations, and random blabbling at 3am. Now we have to say goodbye until we both want the same thing, until we find that middle ground.

I am sorry I wasn't all you needed, I'm not the one to call your friend for all times.
Posted by: Arleigh at 4:19 AM

Tomorrow I believe I am waking up at 330 AM to goto the beach one last time for the summer with Kristin before she leaves for college Friday.
I know this wasn't a long post but I really need sleep.
Posted by: Arleigh at 5:19 PM

I am always getting harrased by some friend or another for thinking too much. Everytime my reply is "that is who I am, I can't change it." I've changed what my major may be 3 times in the past 2 months- prior to that I knew what I wanted all through out high school. I'm really not fully sure why, I think I have changed alot this summer.

This whole "thought" thought came off of what all happened this summer. I met some great friends:: Malone; Kristin; Travis, and prolly another handful. I got burnt a few good times, went to the beach, spent a buttload of money on who knows what, saw some really great movies (The Signs, Gia, The Hobbit) I also was hurt alot this summer, losing Anands friendship over something stupid (I did try to talk to him yesterday), confusing start with Kristin, killing my shoulder, losing a great friend.
I changed alot this summer, I now know who I am, and my strengths- I have new limits from being pushed so far. I have better realization of what I want from life. Don't take that wrong, I don't know exactly what I want but I don't think anyone does until they have it and have experienced it. All in all I realized that I am me, Arleigh Jenkins and no one can change that.
Posted by: Arleigh at 5:18 PM

Nothing else really happened this weekend, had some sushi and some TGIF. Ran a shit load, tired as hell now.

Ok, when I come up with blabbin about I'll share- until then ciao.
Posted by: Arleigh at 9:49 PM