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I lean against the wind, pretend that i am weightless
and in this moment i am happy |
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2.28.2003
Finding some awesome friends in life... kinda found the happy medium between over thinking and going with the flow. It is going well thus far, well until my cell bill comes in this month. HA! Ohwell, that's what the big bucks I'm making is for right? To feed my entertainment needs.
A couple nights back, Tuesday maybe? Kristen and I had a talk, and I guess my final conclusion from it is I need space from her right now. Or I will continue to see things in a distrued manor, which will make things only worse for whatever friendship/relationship we want out of this ton of shambles we are left standing in. I dont want to be left regretting things that made me smile at one time, so I'm going to stop now.. take a breather... and see what happens down the road. It is snowing like hell froze over..at times it has felt like it really has...ohwell. Odd week, I'll give it that.
2.26.2003
Get fucked up- stay fucked up- Iconz
Sleeping the rest of my life away... I think thats the only way to live anymore...stupid fucking people.
2.24.2003
Ok I was a test whore tonight...
What's Your Flavor? Temperament Description: The four types of Idealists are: Purity Test: Based on the 12,443,796 submissions before you.
2.22.2003
What color is your heart?
My heart is Pink. "Your heart is pink. Wow this is almost gross. You love anything and everyone. It's great that you think so highly of everything but just so you know, most of the world does not share your "peppy" feelings. You may want to cut back on thsoe happy pills." Ouch.... but what sucks even more is I agree....
2.20.2003
I give up, I don't get it... what is the purpse of love anyways? To break your heart? All I was asking for was honesty... I couldn't even get that... even now I can't get that.
Posted by: Arleigh at 6:53 PM
2.17.2003
A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same But all the miles had separate They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind Everything I know, and anywhere I go I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
2.16.2003
So I speak to you in riddles because
My words get in my way. I smoke the whole thing to my head and feel it wash away 'cause i don't take anymore or this, I want to come apart. or dig myself a little hole inside your precious heart - Staind Posted by: Arleigh at 7:25 PM http://members.cox.net/amatricis/poetry/collegestudent.html
It is snowing like hell really did freeze over... ohwell, maybe I won't have to do anything tomorrow... ha right. Poor Tre is stuck in DC, with no way back.. and I'm def. not going to get him in this shit.. I told him as soon as I can see the road, and the snow stops I'll go. (I have no idea when that will be) Talked to Kristen today..I can honestly say I really dont want her friendship right now. I'm not saying I don't need it, but I'm still needing to grow alot before we try again. Until then we will be umm... dont know the name for it... but no matter what there will always be that unconditional love that you don't find anywhere anymore. I guess I can deal with that until I am ready for starting over again.
2.14.2003
For everyone out there, I want to put up a notice of confusion.. it has nothing to do with anyone but myself...
Posted by: Arleigh at 12:18 AM
2.11.2003
I think breaking things has become my thing to do these days...
Posted by: Arleigh at 1:20 AM
2.8.2003
Oh no
here comes that sun again that means another day without you my friend And it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself and it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else and it's so hard to do and so easy to say but sometimes sometimes you just have to walk away walk away With so many people to love in my life why do I worry about one But you put the happy in my ness you put the good times into my fun and it's so hard to do and so easy to say but sometimes sometimes you just have to walk away walk away and head for the door We've tried the goodbye so many days we walk in the same direction so that we could never stray they say if you love somebody than you have got to set them free but I would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery They say time will make all this go away but it's time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays and once again you my friend are nowhere to be found and it's so hard to do and so easy to stay but sometimes sometimes you just have to walk away walk away and head for the door you just walk away walk away Ben Harper :: Walk Away Posted by: Arleigh at 2:16 PM The worst feeling in the world... realizing that best friend is growing apart from you. Well, you growing apart from them. One day things will work out chica, until then I won't try- all I seem to do is hurt you.
Posted by: Arleigh at 1:48 PM
2.5.2003
The best feeling in the world.. being able to call your best friend at 1am, just to say I love you and them say it back because they mean it. Def. the best feeling in the world. Kristen I know we've been through alot, and we are going to go through even more.. the crazy thing is I know we'll get through it fine.
Ya know how in middle and high school you always have that image of the bestfriend, that perfect one that everyone seems to have but you? The friend that you can have a fight with, but will still be there 20 minutes after you call them a bitch, because they are that- you're best friend. Kristen, you're that for me. i dont' say it enough, and I know we put each other through some stupid shit.. but in the end you still mean more to me than any friend has ever before. I would do anything for you, and I know it's the same for you.. that means alot. There has been so many times in the past year where I have been rock bottom, wanting to make up a new name for myself and move away from this crazy thing I call life. The one thing that pulled me through was the I love you's and hugs that you give with out asking. Remember how things were so shitty about a month ago, and yet I needed you- so you were there. Drove an hour just to be there and be with me when I needed you to be. Or this summer I went to that concert in Philly, you drove up because of your grandmother--- I came over after concert, couldn't do much for you-- but I was there right?? We will always be there for each other, and that is one amazing feit in life. As I said earlier in the week, I have one good friendship... which means I'm doing something in life right?
2.3.2003
Arleigh= laid up in bed all day cuz a motorcycle fell on her ankle this morning... after 3 hours in the ER... .I'm home FINALLY :)
Posted by: Arleigh at 5:33 PM
2.2.2003
Is it too late to make new year resolutions?? Ok, so me Captain Random, did another random act last night... if you know me you know what it is. Anyways, so I've given up on guys and girls, pretty much the worlds population. I want friends in life and that's it, I'm tired of games, I'm tired of drama... I'm tired of putting people and their lives before mine. With all that said, that's my resolution-- no more drama filled relationships, or one week stands, or one night stands. I'm done. I know in three months I'll be head over heels in love again, but right now this is what I need to do for myself. Live for myself, no one else, nothing else... just Arleigh.
One thing I did realize last night, I have some really, really, really, really great friends that I never knew were even there. When you are stranded with people that you no longer want to even associate with, in the middle of a place, with no way home or away from that place... and the only thing you have to entertain/save yourself is your cell phone (with free nights and weekends)..... you tend to bond with whoever is going to be your savior for those 3-4-5-6 hours. Today, I had tons of time to think--- so the more I thought the more I thought about Amber out in Seattle, wondering where our friendship went... I know I messed up alot, I was 14 and trying to be best friends with a 21 year old. I'm not using that as an excuse, I know I fucked up-- but before she graduated everything started going down hill... didn't see her all summer while she was up in Rhode Island.. then she came down and we went to Army Navy... fucked up majorly that night.... and ever since nothing has been the same. Also, on my little brain storming, head checking, I started thinking about all those people I know that can have sex with out thinking, can be with someone for a week, break up and just start dating someone else... The ones that don't seem to have a heart anymore. Part of me wishes I was like them, being able to just move on like that... Then I think of how they got there, and I know they had to be hurt many times over to be that numb in their heart. Enough bitching for the day, I'm going to go for a drive.. ha sorry, I've been in the car soooo much in the past 24 hours... Btw.. thanks Nikki, Emma, Nick, and who ever else entertained me in my boredom last night. What is this love |
About Me:
Name: Arleigh Location: Between GA and MD Contact: Email Favorite Links: RideMonkey CollegePark Bikes SCAD Other: Powered by
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